We’re looking forward to introducing you to Michelle Miltenberger. Check out our conversation below.
Michelle, so good to connect and we’re excited to share your story and insights with our audience. There’s a ton to learn from your story, but let’s start with a warm up before we get into the heart of the interview. What do the first 90 minutes of your day look like?
The first 90 minutes of my day are my absolute favorite and I treat like a sacred practice. After I wake up and do my usual morning hygiene (usually between 5:30am and 6:00am) I put on music and make a colada – Cuban espresso brewed in a moka pot with sugar. It’s the most amazing and delicious way to make coffee. Then I put the colada in my cute little pink Yeti espresso cup and drive to the beach for my sunrise rollerblade session. I have a bluetooth speaker and blades with light up wheels – it’s a whole party, cruising down the beach, breathing in the fresh air, watching the sunrise, seeing the runners and walkers. Then after my quick 3 miles, I head to the gym for my powerlifting session.
Starting the day by doing the things I love that light me up and bring me peace, while moving my body is what sets the tone for my day. It gives me the ability to think clearly and creatively once I start working at around 10am. It also reminds me that life is about joy, it’s about experiencing beauty in things, slowing down and appreciating all of it.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
My name is Michelle and I am the co founder and co owner of a wellness center in Fort Lauderdale & Delray Beach FL called The Space. I am also a personal trainer and health coach. My life is committed to inspiring, motivating, and uplifting people to take care of their bodies and minds, and journey to their greatest health. This can be through The Space’s services like cold plunge & sauna (contrast therapy), red light therapy, guided breathwork classes, as well as 1-1 personal training sessions and mental health coaching. Our brand is all about health in community – we’re stronger when we can support one another, encourage one another, and get healthy together.
Appreciate your sharing that. Let’s talk about your life, growing up and some of topics and learnings around that. Who were you before the world told you who you had to be?
It’s wild the process of our experience, going from carefree child to resigned adult. I have spent the last 5 years of my life unapologetically committed to restoring the TRUE essence of who I am, who Michelle is. The fun, sparkly, charming, loving, silly person that I was until society stifled me and told me that I was wrong for being who I was. I think that shift began with my 4th grade teacher, who publicly humiliated me on a regular basis, and taught me to be small to survive. I learned to dim my light, second guess myself, and that my way of expressing was “too much”. I learned how to be a chameleon, I became someone who could fit into any situation, any group, and just be. Not add, not subtract, just be. This continued through my adult life. I did what others expected of me and just followed along.
I remember just before my 30th birthday I met with a coach. I was miserable, disconnected, unsure of myself, and knew I needed professional help. The first question she asked me was “Who are you?” – not my job title, not my accomplishments, but ME. And I could not answer that question. And I’ve spent the last 5 years answering that question and creating a life that honors ME.
My early days are something I reflect on often. I remember the small, shy girl who was told she was too much, that she needed to fit in, quiet down, be invisible. And every single day I make sure I honor my younger self by being as authentically and loudly me as I possibly can.
What did suffering teach you that success never could?
My greatest struggles have become my greatest gifts in life, as twisted as that sounds. The dark moments, the suffering, the pain that I have felt in my life, especially in these last 5 years that I decided to change everything, has been the most BEAUTIFUL transformative, evolutionary moments of my life and I woudn’t trade them for anything. The pain has taught me what I am capable of, how much I believe in myself, my conviction in choosing myself over anything else. My pain and suffering is what caused me to grow, to open my mind, to learn, to receive. It’s been everything. Even when it’s hard and I feel hopeless, I know that there is something even bigger and better for me around the corner. It’s that understanding of yin and yang, that with every deep darkness, theres unimaginable light on it’s way.
There’s an understanding of life that one acquires in suffering. A perspective of humanity, empathy, and realness. Though success is wonderful and something that we strive to achieve and celebrate, it’s in the challenges that our strength and resolve is tested. And although suffering is something that we all go through, it’s a fact of life, I try to remind myself that every time I am in a place of struggle, that there is a lesson there. There is value and strength here, and just remembering that helps me move through.
Next, maybe we can discuss some of your foundational philosophies and views? Is the public version of you the real you?
Yes! And I have spent years trying to make sure this is true. I learned at a very young age to be a people-pleaser, to mask, and to be the person that others want me to be. To be polite, to make sure the people around me were comfortable, to not take up space. And that all made me miserable, but I did not realize this until a few years ago when it was ingrained in ever bit of my life. Once I began to unravel this, I realized that my happiest place and my most successful place, is my most authentic place. So now every time you see me or hear from me, it is ME fully, in whatever authentic version I am. When I am happy, I spread that light. When I am going through something, I don’t try to hide it, I don’t try to pretend. I speak up and set boundaries, even if it doesn’t meet people’s expectations of me.
I remember in grad school our instructors would tell us to create our “therapist persona”, meaning intentionally create a different version of ourselves to show up as when with clients. I remember trying this, trying to be uber professional, smaller, a more watered-down version of me. And yes I understand in a therapeutic setting it’s important to be professional. But to be an alternate version of me felt super uncomfortable and inauthentic. After struggling with this and simultaneously struggling with connecting with my clients, I said “f” this, I am just going to be ME. Professional, but the real me. And instantly the relationships with my clients changed, the engagement in my groups changed, and so much progress was made. My clients knew I was being inauthentic, whether consciously or not. So in whatever setting I am in, I am dedicated to showing up as the real me.
Before we go, we’d love to hear your thoughts on some longer-run, legacy type questions. Are you doing what you were born to do—or what you were told to do?
This has been my journey for the last 5 years – going from living the life I was told I should live, versus the one that I was born to do. I had a career in finance, raced sailboats, lived and worked in NYC. It was great, but it wasn’t my passion. It wasn’t the life that I wanted for myself. But then I quit my job, started grad school for therapy, worked as a therapist, left that and started my business The Space, started personal training, and in that time committed to following my heart and only doing what I am born to do. And that is help people, inspire people, uplift people, and motivate people. Whatever that may look like, The Space and my personal training business really lean into that – it’s all about helping people heal, grow, release, and come back even more in touch with themselves.
