Ashley Irizarry shared their story and experiences with us recently and you can find our conversation below.
Hi Ashley , thank you so much for joining us today. We’re thrilled to learn more about your journey, values and what you are currently working on. Let’s start with an ice breaker: What makes you lose track of time—and find yourself again?
I often lose track of time when I’m reading a good book or getting into a new art project. Or when I’m writing a story. I have a hard time stopping once I start, as if something takes over me and I’m compelling to keep reading, keep writing, keep creating. I’ve had a hard time these past few years being creative and imaginative and my reading and creative output has fallen, it’s been hard to get myself to open a book, or work on one of my stories, or finish an art piece. But once I start, it’s like I never spent time away from those activities and I look myself in the creative joy on making something new or diving into the imaginative word of a book.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
I write and create art; I make my living as a writer, but I also consider myself a professional artist working to grow a successful art business and career. As an artist, I create vibrant, abstract paintings and photograph wistful natural and urban landscapes. With my dual passion for writing and the visual arts, I love incorporating text into my artwork (especially my mixed media and collage works), and with my focus on art as a form of self-therapy, I usually select titles for my pieces based on an emotion or thought I’m grappling with.
I transitioned from being a “hobby” artist who created just for fun into a more professional capacity in 2022 when I was between jobs; I created a website, took an art business class, and started marketing my work. Eventually I was picked up by a gallery and today, my art is represented by two different galleries. I’ve also appeared in several international contemporary art fairs (Art Brussels in Brussels, Belgium, (un)fair in Milan, Italy) and local exhibitions (Coping Behind the Mask at Studio 18 in the Pines). Most recently, I had a solo exhibition at Broward Main Library in Fort Lauderdale. I’ve been focusing more on the local art scene—getting my work into local exhibitions and venues, gaining a better understanding of the local art scene, and following local artists to for inspiration and ideas.
Art has always been my outlet, so turning it into a business has been a struggle, not just because starting a business is hard (taxes, marketing, website maintenance, the list never ends), but because the pressure was on to be profitable, successful, and cater my artistic output to an invisible audience. I like to make a lot of collage works so suddenly I was asking myself whether it was a good use of my time to make something that probably isn’t sellable. Ultimately, I decided not to put pressure on myself in my quest to grow my art career and business—I’ve struggled with mental health for years and making art has been a way for me to release my anxieties and deal with depression, so it didn’t make sense to turn my art career into a source of anxiety. I try to take it easy, doing a little at a time to improve my business, find new opportunities to get my work out there (without stressing over the outcome), and of course, working on new art and perfecting my skills.
Thanks for sharing that. Would love to go back in time and hear about how your past might have impacted who you are today. What part of you has served its purpose and must now be released?
My ideas and beliefs around work and personal value are something I am releasing. Like many people, I’ve grown up in a world that values work and a person’s external output; we ask people “what do you do?” before we ever ask about that person’s life, what they like, what they care about or what’s important to them. We assign value to a person based on their work and how much money that work makes them—those who work but don’t make much money, or worse, a person who doesn’t work at all—is considered less valuable, less worthy of respect and consideration. But in reality, our work does not make us valuable, everyone is inherently worthy and valuable, just by virtue of existing.
Although I’ve always known, deep down, that a person’s value is not in their work, but it’s taken me a long time to shake the messaging hammered into me by school, the workplace, and cultural values that prized achievement and nonstop hustling over anything else. Struggling to get a well-paying, steady job after working hard in college and graduate school, left me disillusioned; I felt like I was a failure of a person if I didn’t have a job. And when I was in a job, toxic behavior from leaders made me feel like I was constantly failing—not just as an employee, but as a person, because I could never measure up to their ever-changing, and unrealistic expectations. The hard lessons of being unemployed, and going through bullying at work, has helped me release the belief that my worth is tied to my work. I admit that I still struggle with seeing myself as worthy, even though I don’t have a “normal” job that makes tons of money, I still have to resist the urge to beat myself up for not working faster, or accomplishing more with my business. Releasing these beliefs is a process, and I’m not going to rush it.
Was there ever a time you almost gave up?
Of course. I think everyone goes through a time when they feel like giving up—giving up on a dream, a relationship, a person, a group, a belief, a situation, an activity, a job, giving up on themselves. I was raised to keep going no matter what, to stay committed and not give up, no matter how hard things became. My determination got me through school, college, and grad school and earned me many academic accolades. My determination helped me survive bullying and persist through difficult situations. And while that “never give up” attitude can be a real asset in certain circumstances, it can also really hurt you in other cases.
I don’t love the term “give up” because it implies that walking away from something is always negative. I’ve come to see that giving up/walking away from something isn’t a black-and-white issue, it depends on you and the situation at hand. I can’t just say “giving up” is bad and force myself to keep doing something that isn’t right for me anymore. If that was the case I would have stayed in old jobs I’d outgrown, continued eating foods that weren’t good for me, or stayed in friendships and relationships that were hurting me.
But if we’re talking about things I almost gave up on that I want to stay committed to, I’d have to say it’s my writing and my art, my writing especially. I’ve been writing books and stories for over ten years but haven’t published anything officially, I’m constantly re-writing and editing stories or never finishing novels because I think it sounds dumb or worry about who would read it. I’m always fighting to not give up on the writing. I feel the same about my art, and I think it’s the reason I stall on making new art, I’m constantly worrying that my work isn’t “good enough” or that it’s weird or worry that people won’t like abstract art. The fact that I maintain a website to sell my work is sometimes the only thing keeping me committed to doing art professionally.
My desire to not let myself down keeps me going, and I remind myself that the outcome isn’t what’s important when it comes to my passions, the process is rewarding on its own.
Next, maybe we can discuss some of your foundational philosophies and views? What’s a belief or project you’re committed to, no matter how long it takes?
Finishing my novel and finally publishing a book. I’ve been working on this book for a decade now…I’ve re-written it at least four times, I’m on round number five, still trying to make it perfect (it never will be). I just want to finish it for my own satisfaction, not because I’m trying to be book famous. But eventually I want to publish a novel of some kind. And hopefully the momentum of finishing one book will lead to another one, and then another book.
Before we go, we’d love to hear your thoughts on some longer-run, legacy type questions. What will you regret not doing?
I’ve always wanted to see the Northern Lights, see a glacier, visit a volcano, and see the Milky Way galaxy at night. Getting to experience these wonders is something I don’t want to miss out on. I’m always been overwhelmed with joy and a sense of awe by beautiful displays of nature, but I’ve always lived in cities, so my enjoyment of nature is limited. Seeing something as spectacular as the Milky Way in the night sky would be something.
Also, finishing and publishing a book is a goal I’m set on completing; it’s a long-held goal to finish this one book I’ve been working on; finally accomplishing that goal is a promise I made to myself a long time ago, and I intend to keep it.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://ashleyirizarry.com
- Instagram: sleepycritic
Image Credits
Ashley Irizarry
