Today we’d like to introduce you to Shahla Nikpour.
Shahla, we appreciate you taking the time to share your story with us today. Where does your story begin?
I was born on the Fourth of July ironically to an immigrant father from Iran in Kentucky of all places. I think of this event as a description that life is full of abundant surprises and diversity. My mother is from Iowa, I think the dynamics between my parents left a unique imprint on who I am and what I do. My father came to this country after fleeing the Iranian Revolution to practice medicine, he met my mother who was a nurse at the University of Iowa. My father being an immigrant did not really get a chance to pick where we would live in the beginning due to his residency. My parents were able to transition us to a suburb of Detroit where I spent most of my childhood. I was the first born and was always dancing and performing, as a little girl I loved entertaining. I was fortunate to attend a wonderful preparatory school in Michigan called Cranbrook Kingwood. My adolescent years were not easy, I was struggling with my own depression and other stressors. I was not able to really communicate with my parents, so the Arts were my coping skills. It was during this time that I realized how important my voice was and that self-expression no matter what form it is can be so empowering and helps us feeling less immobilized. I ended up pursing my Bachelor of Arts at a small theater conservatory in Connecticut, still practicing dancing and the end game was to move to New York City and start auditioning. I moved in July right before 9/11 so that was my first experience with collective trauma.
It is funny when something traumatic happens because you remember certain things. I remember listening to the Beatles song “A Day in the life.” The day I was walking out of the subway. I remember that day being a complete feeling of helplessness, we could not call anyone, we didn’t know where our loved ones were and I remember walking almost 60 blocks home just in a daze. After 9/11, I just felt I lost the motivation to audition or perform and it was hard for many artists. And the trauma of walking through the subways everyday seeing pictures of lost loved ones it really resonated to a place in me and started to internally ask myself “What can I do?”. I spent the next year or two working in retail I felt lost, and one day a friend of mine was talking about a graduate program at The Pratt Institute in Brooklyn, NY that focused on Creative Arts Therapy, my friend said I should apply because I had an interest in working with psychology and that utilizing my movement and theater background might be the right fit. I applied and graduated from their program with master’s in Dance/Movement Therapy. I started working in the Bronx at one of the toughest psychiatric units at Lincoln Hospital, I was working with people that were immensely struggling with mental health issues. At that time, I realized that I wanted to go back and get my second master’s in Social Work, I was fortunate enough that the city hospital provided tuition reimbursement and I applied to Silberman School of Social Work in the Advanced Standing program, this program is where you work and must do your internship in the same setting. So, I was hustling away working at Lincoln Hospital, starting to take on a caseload and going to school in the evenings. I remember just feeling like an engine at that time. I graduated with honors and I continued working in the Bronx with a community mental health center in which I made some of the significant bonds with other mental health professionals. After 13 years in NYC I moved down to El Salvador for a new chapter in my life. I made my way back here to Miami in 2015 and was the Clinical Director of a 33 bed Crisis Stabilization Unit, we worked with patients that were struggling with mental health and substance use issues, I also oversaw the only mobile crisis unit in Miami-Dade, we would go out into the community and assess crisis calls, a lot of times working with people that were suicidal or struggling with psychosis, my job was to make sure we got them connected and stabilized with the right mental health providers. As the clinical director I also worked with Judge Leifman’s criminal mental health project in Miami-Dade, this was a program that worked with people that had a history of being incarcerated, severe mental health issues and/or substance use we worked on stabilizing them, getting them connected to services in the community. I have to say that first year in Miami was a significant learning experience for me. The way mental health is received here was vastly different from New York City, the fact that we had only one mobile crisis team which consisted of a driver and a mental health professional driving through all of Miami Dade still scares me, we need a mobile crisis team in many parts of Miami. There is still a huge gap in accessibility for mental health services in Miami in general. I guess, I ended following in my parents’ path of being healthcare workers, but also, I really wanted to take the creative parts of me and help people cope, heal, grow, get out of place of feeling stuck in anything toxic or helping them transform their lives in a meaningful way. Since working in the Bronx to moving to Miami I have observed and heard so many stories of trauma, I feel this is one of the true pandemics, and working in mental health for so long we need to have mental health accessible to all people and encourage it like going to their primary care doctor. We have so many pockets of communities that just do not have this. Our school systems in Miami-Dade needs school based mental health clinics in each and very school.
As I transitioned, I started working on building a private practice. I just want to support young adults, and adolescents to have an open, safe space, to work through the toxic parts of our lives. I know this year had brought so many unexpected challenges and stressors for people, and I want people to know when they walk through my door it is ok to “unpack it all here.” No filters, no social media, just you and I unpacking it together. My work is focusing on Narcissistic Abuse Recovery, Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Anxiety, and Depression. Some of my clients are dealing with just anxiety or depression especially after this past year. But many people are struggling or feeling stuck in toxic relationships, relationships that on the outside look fine but my clients talk about the agony and pain they are going through internally. I went through my own challenges here coming out of a divorce and learning how to date again and experienced a relationship that was very damaging in a short period of time. It was one of the periods right before the pandemic that I was like how did I get here? Here I was a therapist that knew all the red flags of a toxic relationship but found myself in a place of deep pain and shame. That is why I want to destigmatize this type of abuse. It happens to many people and it is real. It was through my own work that I was able to see other parts of my life that were not aligning with wellness and support. I think there is a pressure to keep up with a lifestyle especially in Miami that we are truly losing sight of our own wellness, being able to create healthy boundaries, find our way through painful moments. My goal is also developing a mental health based curriculum here in Miami that I can teach young children, and adolescents about boundaries, understanding healthy relationships, intimate partner violence and any other skill that will help prevent them from entering a toxic relationship.
Would you say it’s been a smooth road, and if not what are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced along the way?
Absolutely a bumpy road, that is why when I decided to open my practice, I immediately thought of a Phoenix the bird, and how it’s able to burn and go through something intense and rise from it. I am smiling as I am responding to this question because there is grace in being able to look back at the rollercoaster and say I survived that and even laugh. This year has been tough for mental health professionals as well. We have had to manage our own stress and anxiety of the unknown and still show up and be present for our clients.
Then you add a collective traumatic experience of a pandemic it really can make you pivot and start a deeper dive into who you are, what is most meaningful for you? I think that there is such an emphasis in Miami of not being alone or that fear of missing out mentality that we are being disconnected from ourselves and being connected to the wrong people. It is also during the pandemic that clients were also forced to quarantine with toxic family members too. Narcissistic Abuse just does not happen in partner relationships, but it happens in families, friendships, religious groups, and even the workplace. All of this can be traumatic, and we know now that trauma is so much more complex and delicate. There were times I felt immobilized and if I did not have the support of my friends, I would not be where I am now. Empathy and being able to understand what it is like to survive a toxic relationship of any kind is the key element to helping people. Being able to not say anything but just to look at someone and exchange that look of “I get it.” is powerful. I think since 9/11 our world has moved into a new realm and trauma unfortunately has been a price we have had to pay. That is why I am so passionate about this work. I think especially here in Miami, we place an emphasis on aesthetics and what we have obtained that we are not taking inventory of our authentic qualities and finding people that are truly supportive. I know there are people out there that want something bigger and meaningful. I think there is a lot of power in post-traumatic growth for people and I want to be able to help them get to that place. My work with clients is based on mindfulness, distress tolerance skills and learning how to dismantle learned negative thinking patterns. I love the purpose of mindfulness because I tell my clients it is always there with you wherever you go, so it is accessible. Two of the components that have helped me grow has been being compassionate with yourself and radical acceptance. These are hard ones for people to grapple with especially in a place like Miami, but I truly think people want to find a place of ease and calm in their lives.
Alright, so let’s switch gears a bit and talk business. What should we know?
Phoenix Thriving Therapy specializes in Narcissistic Abuse Recovery, Depression, Anxiety, and Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder connecting Adolescents and Adults in the Miami-Dade and Broward Area either via telehealth or in person, coming in the Fall I am providing telehealth available in New York and New Jersey.
Narcissistic Abuse Trauma and Recovery: I work with people that are currently in a Narcissistic Abusive Relationship or have recently ended a relationship with a Narcissistic partner or family member. I also guide clients in safely navigating a highly contentious separation or divorce.
Depression: I work with Adolescents and Adults in learning how to understand the complexities of depression, I help people through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy gain and master coping skills to manage their depressive symptoms.
Anxiety: My work with Anxiety includes learning to increase mindfulness skills that can be applied to episodes of anxiety, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy Skills to be able to safely tolerate anxiety. I work very closely with guiding and teaching you very simple meditation techniques that can be applied on a day-to-day basis.
Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder: My work with survivors is all trauma-based interventions, hearing your goals around how you would like to safely begin this work. I utilize meditation, grounding techniques, DBT skills, breathing exercises, guided imagery, and yoga.
I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Creative Arts Therapist based in Miami, FL. I like to think outside the box when I work with each individual client, utilizing creative resources I like to integrate verbal and creative arts therapy in my work with clients.
The Phoenix is my brand because it represents resiliency, survival, power, and transformation.
Any advice for finding a mentor or networking in general?
Stay connected to who you are, what your purpose is if you are not feeling something in terms of networking trust your instincts. Not everything is the right fit, and that is ok finding out what does not work for you is just as important in building your business. Your instincts are such a valuable tool, be authentic you will find the kind, supportive people in your communities. I think for me empowering and supporting others in their goals has kept me grounded in learning it is ok to take it slow, it is ok if you are not a “social media mental health influencer.” It is about real connections not quantity. Be creative, think outside the box, Miami is known for its vibrant personality do something different, take that risk. Find a mentor is key, someone that unconditionally is going to be there for you and lovingly give you feedback when you need it. And again, be compassionate with yourself, you will always be learning.
Pricing:
- Currently I accept the following insurance: UnitedHealthcare, Oxford Health Plans, Aetna, UMR, Oscar, UHC Student Resources. I do offer Out of Network and can provide you with a superbill. My Out of Network fee is $175 for 50-minute virtual session. My office in person rate is currently $200.
Contact Info:
- Email: phoenixthrivingtherapy@gmail.com
- Website: https://www.phoenixthrivingtherapy.com/
- Instagram: @phoenixthrivingtherapy
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/phoenixthrivingtherapy/
- Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/@snikpour444
- Other: @shahla nikpour tumblr
Image Credits
Henry Orth Photography, Richie Herrera Photography
