Today we’d like to introduce you to Nicole Escobar.
Thanks for sharing your story with us Nicole. So, let’s start at the beginning and we can move on from there.
I was born in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, on August 14, 1982, as the third child to a loving family from Brooklyn, New York. I lived in a “good neighborhood” and attended Catholic School, which is why my family struggled to believe and understand what was done to me.
When I was six years old, I was sexually assaulted by a person in my neighborhood. I had looked up to this person and trusted them before the assault. I never spoke up to my parents about what happened because I didn’t entirely understand what had taken place and I couldn’t even begin to put into words what I had experienced. The only thing I knew is that from that day forward I was a very different person and felt a general sense of shame about myself. Every time the assault would come to mind, I would force myself to think of something else to just keep going. Because I never dealt with the assault head-on, I learned how to cope with the trauma and ultimately taught myself how to suppress all memories and feelings associated with the trauma. I had all the signs of someone who had suffered sexual abuse but my parents were uneducated when it came to what those were.
From the ages of 18 to 23 I lived a life that was filled with alcohol, drugs, and working in nightclubs. I was always seeking out ways to cope with the pain of the abuse. I knew it had affected me profoundly but I never wanted to admit it. I felt that if I acknowledged the severity of the abuse, I would be seen as weak. I did everything I could to be seen as strong, hard, and would never allow people to see vulnerability. Relationships were disposable, people were disposable, and I had a huge wall around my heart to ensure that no one could ever hurt me. I was selfish and used people to get what I wanted, especially when it came to power and respect.
I knew I was lost and had dreams about going to hell. I remember waking up in the middle of the night after hard drugs and partying and I cried out to God. I begged him to save me. The faith that I had grown up with felt so far away and I needed a spiritual intervention.
In 2002, a friend invited me to church and I committed my life to God. I wanted to take my faith seriously and completely change my way of life. This inspired me to apply to churches and non-profits. All I knew is that I wanted to help people find the same hope I had found, but everywhere I applied to rejected me. They had no idea what to do with a girl who had no employment background apart from working at nightclubs. Finally, a magazine called The Good News gave me a chance. I was initially hired as a Sales Associate, but in three short years, I worked my way up to Editor-in-Chief. In my time there, we did several articles on what was a new and hardly researched topic: human trafficking. I was so disturbed by what I was learning about human trafficking that I signed up to go on a missions trip to India. I wanted to see for myself the extent of it all. That trip completely changed my life. I met temple prostitutes, people called “the Untouchables,” and children being sold in exchange for food and water. When I came back to the States, I knew that I would be used to help change the lives of victims of sexual abuse. It wasn’t until years later though that everything would start falling into place.
In 2012, I began working at a non-profit called OneHope. A lady named Dee Proietto came in looking for office space. I happened to be the only one available to meet with her and it was that day that my life changed forever (for the second time). Dee, the founder of Trees of Hope, was known within the South Florida Christian community as the expert in the realm of sexual abuse. Our paths had crossed several times, but I always limited my time with her because I was afraid she would see right through the very carefully crafted facade I had crafted to hide the secret of my abuse. She came into my office, we talked for a couple of hours, and she eventually asked me if I had ever been sexually abused. When she asked me, I didn’t know how to answer her. I knew that what I had experienced was violating. But I had built up a wall around my feelings and emotions. I had minimized the extent of harm so much that I didn’t know if it was traumatic enough to be considered sexual abuse. When I told Dee my story it was like a weight had been lifted off of me. I was able to come to terms with the fact that I needed to deal with all of it and find healing. After I attended a Trees of Hope support group called Shelter, Dee hired me as the Creative Director for Trees of Hope. In five years, I have gone from being Creative Director to Executive Director and now the President.
We’re always bombarded by how great it is to pursue your passion, etc. – but we’ve spoken with enough people to know that it’s not always easy. Overall, would you say things have been easy for you?
It has not been a smooth road! Recovery from sexual abuse is never easy, but it’s always worth it. With any traumatic experience, some days will be good and productive and some will be hard and exhausting. Healing is a lifelong journey and different seasons in life can bring on mixed emotions and triggers. When I got married three years ago, I suddenly realized I struggled a lot with intimacy and connecting to my husband emotionally even though I had dealt with so many symptoms of my sexual abuse. Thankfully, my husband is very loving and patient and the most important thing for us is to communicate often about how I am feeling and speaking up when something triggers me. In my role at Trees of Hope, I have to speak often about my abuse. While that has given me a lot of confidence, it also makes me feel very vulnerable and exposed. You never know how someone will interpret your story and if they will question the validity or severity of it.
Tell us more about your organization.
Trees of Hope is a non-profit organization with the mission of “Protecting the future and healing the past from sexual abuse.” Thus, our organization’s model is two-fold. We strive to protect future generations from sexual abuse through conducting Prevention workshops that are geared toward any adult who loves a child and desires to learn how to protect them. We cover red flag offenses, what the grooming process looks like, offender tactics, behavioral and physical symptoms of sexual abuse, and so much more. We work to heal the past by facilitating small group studies for men, women, boys, and girls that are willing to go on a twelve-week long journey of healing, restoring relationships, and finding their true identity.
Trees of Hope started In 2007, Dee Proietto, our founder, sought healing from sexual abuse from a biblical perspective. While she was working on her healing, she got a vision that she was going to start an organization from her pain. After extensive work Trees of Hope was born. The very first healing group was conducted in Dee’s home with only five other women and only one walked through and completed the entire study! Since that first group hosted in a living room, the organization has grown to an average of nine groups per quarter, hosted in several locations around South Florida and has even spread to Central Florida, Pennsylvania and Virginia. These groups have also expanded from just one support group for women to four different support groups for men, teen boys, and teen girls each with their specialized curriculum.
I am most proud of our impact in South Florida and on our podcast called “Not Just a Hashtag.” Within twelve years, we have come to see thousands of people receive healing from sexual abuse, with an average of 950 people a year receiving aid from Trees of Hope in the form of our prevention workshop or one of our healing support groups. And since starting the sexual abuse prevention workshops in 2010, we have conducted close to 200 workshops for parents, guardians, teachers, and anyone with a heart for the vulnerable to change the staggering statistics on sexual abuse. South Florida churches, schools, and organizations contact us to come and do our presentation and then throughout this workshop, several attendees will come to realize that they have been victims of sexual abuse. There is then a seamless segue for them to join one of our healing support groups. We see how the Lord is bringing about spiritual, cultural, and social renewal to the South Florida community and beyond through the work Trees of Hope is doing. This is why we started our podcast called “Not Just a Hashtag” back in April. We want to bring the message of hope and healing to anyone anywhere. We believe the work that we do at Trees of Hope is vital to every generation. The overwhelming need to protect our children has never been more urgent while we firmly adhere to a biblical perspective. In a world of relativism and lose boundaries, we know that presenting the gospel to people in pain is critical.
We are set apart from others because no one is doing what we are doing. There is no other organization that combines prevention and healing by teaching adults how to safeguard children all while offering healing support groups.
Contact Info:
- Address: 116 NE 24th Street
- Website: Trees of Hope
- Phone: 9545332416
- Email: nicoleescobar@treesofhope.org
Image Credit:
Justin Young Photography
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