Today we’d like to introduce you to Pierre Fleury.
Hi Pierre, so excited to have you on the platform. So, before we get into questions about your work-life, maybe you can bring our readers up to speed on your story and how you got to where you are today?
Ever since high school, I have been engaging in community work as much as I can. During high school, I was tutoring in a nearby elementary school and then in college, I was mentoring high school students whenever I could. I always had an interest in helping people anyway I could. I majored in psychology to try to understand people better in order to help them.
The original goal was to be some sort of professional counselor or therapist. After I earned my bachelors in psychology, I worked at this school as an after-school counselor and then I eventually started working at a juvenile detention center. I was hoping the detention center would give me the opportunity to work with young people to help them out of the criminal “justice” system, but I quickly realized that that system was not meant to help people nor were prisons/detentions built for rehabilitation. I knew I had to find a different way to help young people.]
After I left the detention center, I went back t0 retail and began to apply for any job that only required a bachelor’s degree and works with people. I saw an opening to work for a domestic violence shelter as an advocate for children and families. During my third interview, the director and CEO of the shelter offered me a community educator position. I would be tasked with educating young people about violence prevention, specifically intimate partner violence, as well as educating parents and professionals on the dynamics of domestic and dating violence (DV) and how to properly respond to survivors of DV. I have now been doing this work for going on 5 years now.
This field and the multiple ongoing trainings have exposed me to learning about so many systems of oppression to leads to violence. Not only about the patriarchy and misogyny that leads to violence against women and people who are not cisgender men, but also educated me more on white supremacy, queerphobia, as well as ableism and xenophobia. I begin deconstructing my upbringings and challenging my beliefs that are products of a society that we, privileged people, inadvertently learn around us. I begin to write books about my experiences and what I’ve learned from trainings and people I work with.
I am currently not only a professional community educator, but I also use social media platforms like TikTok and Instagram (@pierrefleury_) to make and share content to addressed the different systems of oppression to reduce violence on societal scale. I am also trying to expand my reach to provide education all over to anyone who might be interested. So, if any organizations, businesses, agencies want workshops, trainings, or presentations about intimate partner violence, violence against women, or healthy relationships, feel free to reach out.
Can you talk to us a bit about the challenges and lessons you’ve learned along the way. Looking back would you say it’s been easy or smooth in retrospect?
It’s been… a little rock every now and again. But that’s expected with anything that requires growth and change and exploring new avenues. A lot of struggles came from challenging myself and what I already believed to be true. Being able to use critical thinking and looking at myself and actions objectively wasn’t easy at first, and it still isn’t, but it’s not as difficult now.
Especially as a straight, cisgender man, there aren’t many systems against me in this world. Other than being Black, and at times because I am Haitian, I navigate the world pretty smoothly. So having to come to terms with the fact that people around me who are women, femmes, queer are dealing with certain things took time. But I always was willing to listen to people and their experience before speaking against them. With that listening, I had to look into myself to recognize what ideas, beliefs, or attitudes did I hold that has a bias towards people with different identities than me. Also, how has my privilege possibly blinded me to how I might have harmed people in the past. We all know how hard it is for people to admit they’ve been wrong, so I had to make sure I wasn’t acting like those people.
But lastly, when you decide to grow as a person, you lose friends. Whether it’s because you let them go because they are being harmful, or because they let you go because they think you’ve become harmful. It’s sad to say I’ve lost friends, but I am grateful that I’ve made new ones along the way.
Appreciate you sharing that. What else should we know about what you do?
I think I kind of answered this in the first question, but my official title at my place of work is Violence Prevention Educator and I specifically specialize in intimate partner violence prevention as well as gender-based violence prevention. Prevention education is essentially addressing problems before they occur so a big part of my work is working with young people (high school to college age) about how to have healthy relationships so we can decrease the likelihood of intimate partner violence.
Gender-based violence is really identified as violence against women committed by men. I often work with men and boys to address harmful masculinity that leads to violence against women as well highlighting positive behaviors and attitudes that help men build healthier with themselves and women.
I’m most proud of my ability to make other people challenge themselves. I think I’ve learned how to properly ask people questions to get to the root of their beliefs so they can continue their journey to address harmful beliefs and behaviors they’ve learned overtime.
What sets me apart from other people who this work or who does relationship content is that I am not in the business of “saving relationships.” I, and this was jokingly, coined the title: Breakup advocate, because there are so many people on social media who call themselves dating coaches, relationship experts, etc., and a lot of their content is shaped around people doing things that are either unhealthy or abusive in order to “save a relationship” or to “keep a partner.” So, I started making content around advocating for healthy breakups when you’re just not happy or comfortable in a relationship anymore. Breakups are such a common thing when it comes to dating so I never understood why it was such a taboo or terrible topic. Its common sense that we as people grow over time, we have different backgrounds, and all these different things, so a breakup with someone who doesn’t align with us is bound to happen even if the relationship seemed perfect in the beginning. This isn’t to say it doesn’t suck or it won’t be sad to let the relationship go, but why are trying to force ourselves to be happy where we aren’t? Why are we trying to control people to be who they’re not? Why are we prolonging the end of a relationship if we know that’ll make it hurt more?
My goal is to shift that social belief around breakups and to help people build more community with friends and family to end this idea that being “single” or without a dating partner is something to be fearful of.
Is there anyone you’d like to thank or give credit to?
Everyone I’ve build community with deserve credit. From my friends I’ve made in person and on social media to my coworkers and authors of books that I’ve read. I haven’t even met all of my internet friends, but their content and support has taught me so much. My coworkers offered me new insight on so many topics and referred me to so many resources like books and trainings to further my education. Also, many women authors and other authors from marginalized groups who had the courage to be vulnerable enough to put their experiences on paper helped me understand many nuances that I would not get anywhere else.
To anyone who has interacted with me, offered me help, held me accountable, listened to me, or just liked, shared, commented on any of my content, you deserve credit and just know I appreciate you.
Contact Info:
- Instagram: Instagram.com/pierrefleury_
- Twitter: Twitter.com.com/pierrefleury_
- Other: tiktok.com/@pierrefleury_
