Today we’d like to introduce you to Nicole Porter.
Nicole, please share your story with us.
My parents divorced when I was ten years old. We migrated to the United States in 1997 and settled in Miramar, Florida. As a little girl growing up, I always knew that I wanted to be married, because I would be a great wife to my husband.
I was a twenty-something woman looking for love. I had a short engagement with a guy who was in the military. The long distance was really what killed that relationship. Back then, technology wasn’t as prevalent as is it today. A couple of months later, my friend introduced me to a guy. My initial thought was that he’s not “my type.” It was definitely not love at first sight. My second thought was, well, maybe he’s a nice person. I reluctantly gave him my number with the intention of us just being friends. We started talking regularly on the phone. He had a nice phone voice might I add. It wasn’t long after my heart started to open up toward him. We eventually started dating. We dated for two years and then he asked me to marry him. A week before the wedding, my favorite uncle contacted me and said: “This is not the man for you.” I tried to reassure him that he treats me well and that he’s a really nice guy but he was still adamant that this guy was not “the One” for me. I was thinking to myself, my uncle has lost his mind. The invitations have gone out, the wedding is a couple of days away and He’s coming to me with suspicions. If anything, bring me facts! I was so young and crazy. Looking back, I think I was in a desperate need for love from a man. I had “Daddy issues.”
On the day of the wedding, the groom was two hours late. I remembered sitting in the bridal suite wondering why are we running behind schedule. The wedding coordinators tried to give me as little information as possible as to what was truly going on because they did not want me to worry. Then all of sudden, I heard “He’s here, He’s here.” The wedding coordinators had a look of relief on their faces. As I reminisced, I would rather be left at the altar than for what was ahead. At the reception, I asked him why was he so late. He said he was getting a facial and had lost track of time.
After we returned from our honeymoon, we had to live with his family for six months because we were so broke from the wedding. That was a real adjustment for me because I wanted to be the queen of the house. Instead, I had to compete with his mother and his sister for his undivided attention. We were eventually able to save enough money to find our own apartment. I was thrilled! At the end of our first year of marriage, I became pregnant. He was happy.
In our second year of marriage, I noticed that his attitude started changing toward me. He became meticulous about how he looked. He started hanging out more with his single friends and was coming home at 5 a.m. This was a man that I thought was a devoted Christian. I would question his whereabouts to find out what was going on and he would become very evasive. I prayed and asked God for his divine intervention.
In the summer of 2008, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. My husband was happy, but he always seemed distracted. It’s almost like he was never totally there. The marriage was still on the rocks even after a newborn. I remembered after completing a three day fast, God gave me this scripture: Psalm 34:19 “Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the Lord delivereth him out of them all.” The scripture never said that deliverance would be instant. After my six week checkup, my doctor gave us the green light to return to intimacy. One night, I dreamt that my husband was sitting next to a woman on a couch in our home and he asked me to sit across from them. In the dream, he explained that he was leaving me for this other woman. I woke up feeling like something bad was about to happen. I told my husband about the dream and he totally dismissed it. He reassured me that I was the only woman for him. In my spirit, I felt that this was no ordinary dream but more like a vision.
Let’s fast forward to year three, I scheduled my annual checkup at the gynecologist and three days later the Doctor’s office contacted me to advise that I had a Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD). I just remember being frozen, almost like the world had stopped for a minute. I replied that this must be a mistake. I am a married woman and I’ve only been intimate with my husband. She said, “Ma’am, I tested it three times.” I was flabbergasted. The doctor said the STD was treatable. I called my husband immediately and told him what the doctor had told me. He denied the whole thing and said that I was the one that stepped outside of the marriage. I was so hurt because I knew that I was being faithful to this man. A couple of days later, he confessed and said it was only one time with someone else. I was so hurt and broken because I trusted him. I didn’t share this information with my family members, because they would be like, “Let’s go, we’re coming to get you.” The pain that I was feeling was intense; I had to share it with two of my closest girlfriends. One day, my husband forgot his phone at home and I started going through his pictures. I saw a picture of a woman in lingerie. I asked him about it and of course more lies would come.
Shortly after, I started getting sick during the night. I had painful stomach aches. I initially wondered if it was from having late lunches at work. When I couldn’t bear the pain anymore, I made an appointment to see the doctor. I found out that I had a stomach ulcer. The doctor said if I hadn’t come in when I did the ulcer would have burst inside of me. The doctor advised that this condition is caused by stress. I had to undergo a minor procedure. I prayed and asked God to teach me how to love my husband unconditionally, expecting nothing in return. I was more in love with my husband that he was in love with me. I did so much to make him happy. I took pole dancing and belly dancing classes. I kept my body up by working out and eating healthy. I was thinking maybe if I do more for him, he’ll be happy and not want to be with other women. He just sat back and reaped all the benefits as if I was the one that had an affair.
After the affair, I suggested that we sign up for counseling and try to salvage the marriage. He attended one counseling session and never went back. My husband was a lost man and the devil had his mind. The remaining three years, I worked so hard for us to stay married. Some days, he would come home and sit in front of the television and did not want to be bothered. He acted like he would rather be somewhere else. In 2012, I became pregnant and had a miscarriage at five weeks. I became numb to all pain and suffering. My husband never showed any affection toward me. He didn’t like to communicate or talk about his feelings. I was in a loveless marriage for six years. I was emotionally starved for a very long time, but I wanted to salvage the marriage and make it work. I was committed to him and I was a great wife.
In 2013, I went to his father’s funeral. Even though things were not great between us, I went to support my husband. I noticed this petite pregnant woman doing more than what was expected of her as a friend of the family. She definitely caught my attention. I asked everyone, “Who is this woman?” No one knew who she was. I was waiting for my husband to show up at the repast but he never came. I called him, he never answered his phone. Instead, he sent me a text message to say that he’s picking up his uncle from the airport.
I was at work on Monday when I received an email from someone I didn’t know. I was curious, so I opened the email. I saw that my husband was copied on the email. When I started to read the email, I realized that it was sent by his girlfriend. She advised that she had been having an affair with my husband for five years and that she’s five months pregnant with his baby. I was shaking like a leaf at my desk. My whole world came tumbling down and then it hit me. I remembered when I went snooping in his phone a couple years back, the woman I saw in the lingerie was the woman who was at the funeral. I was flabbergasted. That was my breaking point. My husband didn’t stick around to explain anything to me. He was on a flight to the Islands, gone for two weeks. I called my mother and told her about the email and what had happened. I was mortified.
I fasted and prayed for two weeks. God gave me so many confirmations after that fast.
God saw my broken heart and felt my pain. He delivered me from a horrible marriage because it was toxic. I later filed for divorce. Psalm 147:3 “He health the broken heart, and bindeth up their wounds.” When the marriage ended I knew that some of it was my fault. I had robbed myself by ignoring what I saw and had chosen to live by what I hoped. As a part of my recovery, I decided to no longer put on blinders when I see red flags.
The person you set your heart on may not live up to your expectations, but God is the source of your strength. Disappointment is not the end of the road; it is merely a setback for what will eventually be a great and an inspiring journey. From that experience, I wrote the book “The Uncommon Single, Turning Mistakes into Stepping Stones for Success.”
We’re always bombarded by how great it is to pursue your passion, etc. – but we’ve spoken with enough people to know that it’s not always easy. Overall, would you say things have been easy for you?
There will always be struggles along the way but I use adversity to my advantage. I put my faith and confidence in God and take it one day at a time. One of my struggles is trusting the opposite sex again but I am growing each day into a better version of myself.
So, as you know, we’re impressed with Daintygirl Enterprises – tell our readers more, for example, what you’re most proud of as a company and what sets you apart from others.
I started my career in 2014 and began styling everyday women. I quickly discovered that I had the unique ability to change the way how women feel about themselves through my styling services and that’s how the company was birthed.
Daintygirl Enterprises is a personal styling company for the extraordinary career woman. Our mission is to educate and inspire women to use style as a tool to get what they want in life, our company motto is “Change your style, change your life!!!”
What we are most proud of as a company is that we assist women to dress right according to their body type.
So, what’s next? Any big plans?
Some of my plans for the future includes but are not limited to: writing a book on style, having style workshops in every city and hosting style bootcamps.
My book is available on Amazon & barnesandnoble.com
Contact Info:
- Email: daintynicoleporter@gmail.com
Image Credit:
Virtuouz Photography, Shanine Alessia, Jordan Young
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