Today we’d like to introduce you to Kelly Ghweinem.
Hi Kelly, we’re thrilled to have a chance to learn your story today. So, before we get into specifics, maybe you can briefly walk us through how you got to where you are today.
My journey to becoming a gender and sexuality-affirming therapist started at a very young age with accompanying my mom and grandma to work, which was at a group home for individuals with developmental disabilities. This exposure to helping others as a career influenced my decision to work in many different capacities from the age of 18 years old and to later in my life pursue a master’s in social work degree with a focus on trauma-informed care and human rights from the University at Buffalo. At SUNY Buffalo, I discovered a love for couples therapy which was coupled with my love for gathering knowledge about sexuality mainly influenced by Dr. Ruth. After graduation, I left Buffalo and moved to Manhattan, NY with a dream to be a therapist and without a job lined up (Spoiler, I accomplished my dream and thrived). My first job post-MSW was at a small non-profit in Queens, NY, it was here that I discovered if I wanted to engage in meaningful change, I needed to open my own private practice without the influence of donors, state/federal funding, and bloated bureaucratic systems. There were a lot of steps from deciding on this goal to where I am today. The first step was obtaining my LCSW clinical hours through working in a clinical setting. So, I started working at a substance abuse clinic that focused on medicated assisted treatment. Through this work, I saw many people successfully move into a healthier version of themselves while also being able to craft my skills and increase my knowledge of evidenced-based interventions. Through a trauma-informed lens, I was able to help individuals and couples struggling with a variety of issues. These include substance use, relationships, intimacy, sexuality, and marginalized stressors. In early 2020, I started pursuing my AASECT (American Association of Sexuality educators, counselors, and therapists) certified sex therapist certification as a way to formalize my knowledge through credentialling. This led to me working as an associate sex therapist at the Center for Love and Sex in Manhattan, NY. At the Center, I was given the opportunity to become a sex-positive sex therapist who helps clients bring sexual and erotic pleasure back into their lives through a collaborative therapeutic approach. In December 2020, I finished up my clinical licensure and decided to immediately open my own private practice focusing on gender and sexuality-affirming psychotherapy within the queer community while also continuing my work at the Center for Love and Sex. As a queer genderfluid person, I wanted bring queer-affirming therapy to folxs across many different states because I had very little positive experience with LGBTQAI-affirming services in the mental health world. My inner guide was screaming at me that I needed to bring competent and comprehensive queer-affirming care in a way that was accessible to all. To give context, this all happened during the start of the COVID-19 pandemic. I was noticing the decline in my own quality of life in Manhattan and was also bombarded with the anti-LGBTQ rhetoric and legislation being passed across the nation. This combination of external factors directly influenced my decision to expand my practice to a group practice and move to South Florida. In making this decision, I decided to start Velvet Psychotherapy Collective LCSW PLLC in March 2022, a gender and sexuality-affirming boutique practice that services the queer community through an antiracist, anti-oppressive, trauma-informed, and feminist lens. Velvet psychotherapy collective offers individual therapy, group therapy, coaching services, and couples therapy. All of our clinicians have expertise working with the LGBTQAI community and understand the importance of our mission to provide a queer-affirming, safe and intimate space for individuals to explore their inner world, bringing them closer to living their most authentic life. Velvet collective supports this by encouraging each clinician to bring their authentic self to each session and show up in a way that affirms our anti-capitalistic approach. At the heart of Velvet Psychotherapy collective is the belief that the client is the expert in their own life and that we are here merely as helpers on the journey to healing, transformation, and self-discovery. This move from Manhattan to South Florida has been transformative for me and has allowed me to bring queer and gender-affirming services to a state that is focused on oppressing the LGBTQAI community.
We all face challenges, but looking back would you describe it as a relatively smooth road?
This journey has not been a smooth rode. It has been filled with many struggles along the way. After graduating with my MSW in May 2015, I decided to divorce my then-husband and move to Manhattan. I had no money and no job, but I believed that I would succeed. While working at my first job in the city at the non-profit in Queens, NY, the company was found to be embezzling money from Medicaid and lost all of its contracts. It was unable to pay us for 2 months in November & December 2015. Looking back, I should have left but I stuck it out and because of this experience, I no longer stay out of loyalty. My values need to align, and blind loyalty is not one of those values for me to engage in business decisions. The company was acquired by a bigger, more finically stable agency and many of us were able to keep our roles within the company, but my commute was now longer, and I had to take a major pay cut. This was a uniquely stressful time in my life because my financial situation was unstable and I was so new to the city that I hadn’t established a support system yet and I was also processing the deeply painful ending to my marriage, all at the age of 29 yrs. old. I turned inward, working on healing myself, and in that started attending Jiu-Jitsu classes in Queens, NY. I found my community and many friends through Jiu Jitsu. It helped me while I was processing through the struggles in my life. In 2017, I decided to leave the company in Queens and started working for the Department of Health and Mental Hygiene while also working at the substance use clinic. I was often working 12–14-hour days and on the days I was not, I was at jiu-jitsu engaging in my community. This took a toll on my physical health and mental health. I was exhausted most days. In July 2017, I met my now husband and our relationship developed quickly. In 2018, I had my daughter. I had a traumatic birthing experience where I was on the verge of losing my life from a pulmonary embolism and hemorrhaging during the c-section. I took 16 weeks off of work to focus on new motherhood and healing from the medical trauma. It has taken 3 1/2 years for me to fully recover from that trauma, and I have not been able to return to jiu-jitsu due to health complications. I suffered from severe postpartum depression and anxiety. I sought out help from medical professionals but was often left feeling unheard and unseen. Due to the disorganized bureaucratic system that is the NYC Department of Health, I was forced to return to work before my doctor was comfortable approving my return to work from medical leave. If I didn’t return, I would have lost my health benefits and job. When I returned to work in April 2019, I was immediately met with a change in my job and no empathy or compassion from supervisors on how I would receive that change in job duties. As someone who highly values performing well at work, who had just suffered a very traumatic experience, this was extremely difficult for me to cope with, but I eased back into working two jobs in order to obtain my LCSW through clinical hours because I had goal to accomplish. This meant that I needed to rely heavily on my husband to take over as the main caretaker for our daughter. I found myself struggling with a lot of guilt and shame that I was putting my career first. Then in March 2020, the pandemic hit. This allowed me to re-evaluate my decisions and swiftly move forward with opening my own private practice. The transition to private practice was relatively easy, I was full and unable to take new clients after only a few months. The transition from solo private practice to group practice has not been as easy. I have had to make difficult business decisions and have even made some poor financial business decisions along the way. These struggles have helped me become a wiser businessperson, but I know as I grow my business and expand into other areas, obstacles will arise, and I will need to make decisions to learn and grow from those obstacles because there is not an option for me to give up my dream due to obstacles or struggles along the way.
As you know, we’re big fans of Velvet Psychotherapy Collective LCSW PLLC. For our readers who might not be as familiar what can you tell them about the brand?
Our goal at the collective is to provide a queer affirming, safe and intimate space for clients to explore their inner world, bringing them closer to living their most authentic life. Each clinician brings their authentic self to each session allowing for an individualized, collaborative approach to treatment with a core belief that the client is the expert in their own life. It is our belief that the most important part of therapy is the relationship between therapist and client. Through a trauma-informed lens, we aim to help individuals and couples struggling with a variety of issues. These include substance use, relationships, intimacy, sexuality, and marginalized stress, to name a few. These life stressors affect each of us in unique ways, which is why each clinician carefully tailors each person’s treatment in a customized, individualized approach. Our goal is to provide a warm, compassionate and safe space to provide comprehensive care to LGBTQAI+ folxs. Throughout life, we tend to develop unhealthy coping and survival mechanisms as a way to protect ourselves. The therapists will use evidence-based assessment tools and interventions to ensure they are providing each client with a high level of care. Depending on the goals of the client, they may assign homework, but this is dependent on the needs of the client. Progress often happens with work outside of therapy and in between sessions. The clinicians at Velvet Psychotherapy Collective are experienced in Psychodynamic theory, psychoanalytic theory, cognitive behavioral therapy, acceptance and commitment therapy, solution-focused therapy, mindfulness, emotionally focused therapy, and motivational interviewing.
Velvet Psychotherapy Collective is different than other queer-affirming practices because we operate from an anticapitalist, anti-oppression, anti-racist lens. This is not just something we say as a mission but something each of us truly believes and lives not only in the work we do but in our personal lives as well. This means that we critically evaluate current mental health practices for validity within our population. We critically evaluate our own human experience and biases in order to recognize the way that each of us as individuals can impact the therapeutic relationship through our privilege, power dynamics, and lived experiences.
As a brand, I am most proud that we are able contribute to our community in a positive way. I am proud that we are able to use our knowledge and expertise to uplift the lives and voices of others.
I want your readers to know that we have a variety of services at different price points. Our goal is to be able to service clients in many different socio-economic situations.
What would you say has been one of the most important lessons you’ve learned?
The most important less that I have learned in my journey is that listening to my inner guide and being true to my authentic self will always result in the best outcome. This does not mean that it is without struggle or difficulty, but I know that I can rely on my internal compass and value system to point me in the right direction. I am deeply fulfilled in my career and life because I trust my inner guide.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://velvetcollective.org
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kellyghweinem/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100086584577406
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/KGhweinem
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHP-gtgVGJN-WeDvmWCKUMA
