Today we’d like to introduce you to Marta Murray.
Alright, so thank you so much for sharing your story and insight with our readers. To kick things off, can you tell us a bit about how you got started?
It all started with my own life falling to pieces and looking far from what I once imagined it to be. My relationship history was tumultuous at best, and I was in denial as to why. The turning point was my divorce when a long, unhealthy relationship ended in divorce after just one year of marriage. I felt like a failure, mostly because I had bought into all the socially constructed notions about relationships at the time.
After battling the mental health issues that followed for some time, with little improvement to my well-being and none in my romantic life, I set out searching for answers. I wanted to know how to help myself and I wanted to understand why some people seemed to be lucky in love while I struggled.
I wanted to be in a loving, happy relationship, but I didn’t know how to get there. I found dating difficult and tiresome and the relationships I did find would follow a pattern of passionate starts and toxic endings. I eventually understood that something needed to changed reached for help to various coaches, therapists and mentors.
For a while, I invested my energy and efforts solely into myself. I had to face the uncomfortable truth that the common denominator in my love life was me. So, I dedicated my time to healing and growing into the best partner I could be, for myself first and for my future love.
With time, trial and error I began to feel differently. My self-concept changed, and I started seeing myself and the world differently. I had no idea it was even possible to experience this much of a transformation after thirty-plus years of being stuck. Finally, I was enjoying my life and being single. People seemed to be drawn to me, dating started to feel fun, and pretty soon after I met my wonderful husband.
Having such profound shifts inspired me to give back, so I dove further into understanding relationships, love, and the ways we can heal and free ourselves from the shackles of the past. My mentors encouraged me to tap into my gifts, so I supplemented my learning with certifying as a life coach and turned my passion into the heart-centered business my coaching practice is.
The truth is that when a relationship is healthy, it’s very different to what many of us confuse with true connection. We are wired for love, and it’s natural for us to seek it. The trouble is that many of us have faulty programming for relationships. Luckily, anybody can heal and change to welcome healthy love in. There’s as much science as magic to love!
Can you talk to us a bit about the challenges and lessons you’ve learned along the way? Looking back, would you say it’s been easy or smooth in retrospect?
I wish I could say that any of this is a smooth road. But healing isn’t, relationships aren’t, and neither is entrepreneurship. As humans, we tend to be our own enemies and I was no different. My biggest obstacle was my own resistance to doing the work. For a long time, I didn’t want to face the fact that I was at the root of my challenges. I wanted a quick fix so that I could finally be happy. I wanted someone to tell me what to do in order to get from A to B. I didn’t want to have insights or do inner child work. Until I shifted that narrative not much was changing.
This is not unlike our romantic life, where we hope to find “the one” with whom we will live happily ever after. We blame men, women, dating apps without ever looking in the mirror and asking: what am I choosing? What am I tolerating? What’s my part in all this? It’s rarely at anything out there, but within where we need to look. Until I did that I kept “somehow” dating and meeting people who were not at all aligned with me. Some were rather harmful. I was fortunate to work with coaches who were challenging me and wouldn’t entertain my resistance much.
I actually started applying myself to inner work because I thought one of mentors was very arrogant, and I decided to do everything he told me to and prove him wrong! Long story short, it backfired in such a way that I now happily married to the only man I ever truly (and healthily) loved. Our marriage is like no relationship I ever experienced. We’ve even been told by a few people that they’re using us as their couple model. All those years back, it was unthinkable that my relationship could be a model for healthy love. It’s certainly the gold standard I guide my clients to!
Being an entrepreneur, of course, comes with its own sets of challenges. I work from home now. It was an adjustment, and I still learn as I go. Navigating the online space was a big challenge for me because up until I started my practice, I didn’t even use social media. Today I create content, write copy, and run my marketing. For now, it’s a one-woman show, so my next challenge will be accepting help in some areas of my business to allow it to grow further. It’d be nice to have more rest and more time to focus on being of service to my clients.
We’ve been impressed with Mycoach Marta, but for folks who might not be as familiar, what can you share with them about what you do and what sets you apart from others?
While by no means over, my personal journey from a breaking point to love and a secure relationship took three years, two therapists, and three coaches. I knew it could be smoother and faster if I didn’t have to mix and match or wait for answers to my questions until my next appointment.
The women I met through groups and masterminds had experiences and needs like mine, so I wanted to be the coach we all needed. For me, this meant supporting the individual journey of healing, developing a secure attachment style, and of course, learning dating and relationship skills to attract and keep love. It meant providing daily support, not just from session to session. It meant availability, accessibility, and a zero-judgment zone. It meant flexible coaching that adapts to the client, not clients adapting to the coaching program.
I specialize in supporting women on their journeys to loving relationships, going through big changes, healing trauma, and rewriting toxic patterns. My favorite thing is guiding women out of rock bottom into happiness and relational bliss. I have a particular interest in attachment theory because shifting my extremely anxious attachment style to secure has been a game changer for my marriage. I really was an anxiously attached as they come at the start of my road. Today I identify as mostly secure, so I have both professional and lived experience, as well as heaps of compassion for what my clients are going through.
Healing attachment styles has become somewhat of my superpower, and while I agree that most of our romantic challenges stem from attachment wounding, relationships involve much more, so my support also goes beyond that.
My coaching is trauma-informed, attachment-focused, and addresses all complexities of relationship dynamics.
I support and guide my clients through:
– relationship anxiety and any doubt and self-sabotage patterns
– communication with an avoidant or anxious partner so both can grow secure.
– reconnecting with the true Self
– practical relationship tools and skills
– identifying and communicating needs in ways that they can be met
– healthy boundaries that strengthen relationships
– emotional soothing and regulation of the nervous system
– handling conflict in ways that lead to deepening the relationship
I truly adore the women I work with, and they have my full support, and we are in contact Mon-Fri, between our scheduled sessions. Life doesn’t happen on a schedule after all.
We’d love to hear about any fond memories you have from when you were growing up.
This is a great question since I do a lot of inner child work both personally and with my clients. Many surprising memories have resurfaced for me along my healing journey.
A memory I treasure is when I learned to swim. We were in Nicaragua on a beautiful beach with big surf waves. My dad thought it was a great idea to take me into the ocean with no safety equipment whatsoever. He threw me into the waves.
I was terrified and… I also felt safe. I felt safe because my dad was there, and I trusted that his support will see me through the waves. I felt safe because I knew how to float. I remember thinking as the waves tumbled me around: “I need to float; I need to catch a moment to float.” It probably wasn’t as articulate as I was only four or five years old, but I knew what I had to do and believed I could. Already at that age, I somehow understood the importance of having a safe base, the kind of my father was for me in that moment. The kind a healthy relationship is for us all.
That memory translates into my story. A healthy relationship is a safe base. It’s not a happy ending or a destination. All the stories of a “happily ever after” had us fooled that there is such a thing. Life keeps happening when you are in relationship, it doesn’t stop after marriage. A healthy relationship is the safe base that gives us the strength and courage to float on the waves of life.
When my life was only waves, I believed that I could float. If I could float, I could somehow make it to safety and happiness. And that’s what did with my story. One step, one float at a time.
Pricing:
- USD947 fully supported 3-month coaching container
Contact Info:
- Website: mycoachmarta.com
- Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/mycoachmarta
