Today we’d like to introduce you to Rachael Chau.
Hi Rachael, thanks for sharing your story with us. To start, maybe you can tell our readers some of your backstory.
My story begins, like so many Asian Americans, with immigrants. If my grandparents could see me now, I don’t know what they’d think, but they certainly wouldn’t have imagined I’d be doing what I’m doing! I consider myself first-and-a-half generation American. My dad emigrated from Hong Kong as a very young child and my mom’s family had already settled in New York by the time she was born. They grew up with parents working multiple low-paying jobs constantly to provide for large families in tiny apartments. Our financially stable family of four in a New Jersey house with a backyard feels completely foreign to that experience, but it couldn’t exist without the former. My parents love music, and we all love Disney (a healthy amount!), so my first moment of latching onto art is watching the “Part of Your World” sequence in “The Little Mermaid.” The music, the animation–it was all magical, dreamy, nostalgic wonder for me, even as a child! I can’t pin down an exact time in memory that I saw it, but it seems to be buried somewhere deep in my mind and heart.
I started singing when I was a baby–nothing serious, just in the car or at home–and began playing piano when I was five. I joined band and choir in elementary school, and started doing musicals in middle school, completely unaware of what I was doing, but truly enjoying the community and fun I found there. When I applied for the magnet high school that my sister already attended, I wanted to go for the Music and Culinary Academies (majors essentially), but my mom–in the most un-Asian parent fashion ever–put her foot down and said, “You are going for theatre. You’re wasting your talent if you don’t go for theatre.” I had no idea what that meant! I did not understand the concept of acting then and had only just started singing, but of course, I did what my mom said because I had no choice. High school was a crash course in everything. We took academically challenging classes, danced instead of doing gym for PE, had to rehearse scenes in our down time at school AND stay late for after school play/musical rehearsals–it was a whirlwind of stress and hormones and madness. (Thank goodness a ton of great stories came out of that time!) Despite the insanity, I felt so lucky to be discovering this world of theatre for the first time, unlike many of my classmates who had been doing this in some capacity since they were children. When I was worn out and wanted to pack up and go home, I could hold onto that tiny string of artistic wonder and make it through.
When I first thought of where I would go for college, I immediately thought NYU. Maybe I was subconsciously following my sister to school again. Regardless, I was drawn to it. After being waitlisted or rejected by all the other universities I had applied to, NYU pulled through for me. I was going to live and learn in the same area where my family first came to the US! NYU and the Stella Adler Studio of Acting were both brand new and same old for me. It was strange and uncomfortable to be a bit jaded at studio, feeling like I had learned much of the same things already in high school, which some of my new classmates who came from similar backgrounds also felt. But, I continued to do what is in my nature to do: stay open. All my life I’ve floated and gathered what I hope is the best (or at least something valuable) out of every situation and person I’ve encountered. Although it’s made me feel formless in the past, I’m beginning to see how beneficial it’s been to me now that I’m somewhat grown.
Senior year of high school, I completed my first professional acting job (voiceover for a video game), and senior year of college, I got an agent. Insanity. What happens when there are no more lucky senior years left to experience? What happens when a global pandemic comes into play as you’re finishing up college? I don’t know. The past nine months have sincerely been a stop-and-go blur in my memory. What I do know is that I’ve met so many fantastic, gem-like humans from my childhood in New Jersey, my college experience in New York, my Disney College Program in Florida, and the many places I’ve been so lucky to travel to. I used to think that great artists were hard to come by, and through this little life I’ve led so far, I’ve learned that brilliant people are actually absolutely everywhere. Everywhere! And that is such a humbling and freeing fact. During lockdown, I have been part of many incredible projects; (zoom) theatre, voiceover, film, music albums, readings, etc. The only through-line I can think of that runs through all these shows and myself isn’t one of talent or networking; it’s reliability. Reliability of kindness, of showing up, of energy, of wonder, of fun, and yes, of openness. Sometimes I look back and feel that my story has had many twists and turns, and other times I feel like I’ve basically stayed in the same place my whole life. But thinking back to those immigrants families in the Lower East Side of Manhattan, I know that while I may not be physically far from the starting point, I’ve gone all over the map with the people I’ve met and the art I’ve experienced. I do what I do so people like me–and unlike me–can feel connected and validated. That’s what it’s all about.
I’m sure you wouldn’t say it’s been obstacle free, but so far would you say the journey have been a fairly smooth road?
There are two main demons I believe I struggle with in life. The first is self-esteem. Mine is low, and not in a trying to be charming, self-deprecating way. It’s low, and why shouldn’t it be when I’ve grown up in a country and society obsessed with whiteness? That speaks for itself. On a more comforting note, I can confirm that faking confidence does indeed begin to work. I recently realized how much more secure I am in myself now versus a few years ago, and I can chalk that up to holding onto my personal values as I grow, and rarely compromising on them. The second struggle is loss. I’ve always felt a bit too close to sadness, loneliness, and nostalgia, so when you add actual loss into the mix, it’s a cocktail of gloom. My first big loss came when I was a sophomore in high school and my grandfather passed away, and the following year my uncle suddenly passed too. Quarantine has given me plenty of time to think and reflect, and I’ve noticed some patterns in my life and family.
In the case of both those losses, I was left to my own devices. I didn’t know how to process my grief, and I honestly still don’t know if I have. The emotional wounds from then seem to have roughly sewn themselves up and healed into some gnarly-looking scars over time. The years since have held continuous loss, two of those being suicides, which are completely different to wrap your head around than old age or illness. In February of this year, I lost my dear old neighbor Bill, whose death was what I imagined to be the worst day of my life for 22 years. And as I’m writing this in December, my aunt has just died of cancer. From what I currently understand about my life, I know that I’ll have to grieve on my own, and I’m learning how to. For better or for worse, I’m naturally dropped into my emotional well. I can’t ignore what has happened, both because it’s nonsensical and because my emotions pull me right back to reality, so I have to let time take its course. And whether it’s to do with my self-esteem or the people that are gone who I often think about, I’ve found that a good cathartic cry is almost always a wonderfully powerful thing.
Thanks for sharing that. So, maybe next you can tell us a bit more about your work?
I’m an actor, and I cringe every time I have to tell that to someone! Other cringe-inducing titles that may describe me: singer, songwriter, musician (somewhat), voice actor, writer, mover (not quite a dancer, definitely not someone who moves furniture!). A project that I am unbelievably grateful to be part of is a little (huge) transmedia universe called Averno. Musicals, podcasts, novels, graphic novels–you name it, we’ve got it! During quarantine, I got the extraordinary opportunity to retreat to a beautiful lake house in the woods of Connecticut to meet up with the writer/creator of Averno, composers of three different Averno musicals, and fellow actors/singers to record albums of those new musicals for Broadway Records! I sang for Beatrice in “Willow” (available now on all music-streaming platforms!) and the actual character I play Aster in “Bittersummer.”
Averno and many of the creators involved in its different stories are a bit TikTok and Instagram famous, which has also brought me lots of new followers on social media. This has been wonderfully exciting to me as I feel it allows me to expand the community of inclusivity and validity I want to create. The intertwined Averno projects champion queerness, racial diversity, love, found family, sanctuary, freedom, magic, and more. To think this is where I get to start from astounds me daily. The number of messages I’ve gotten from people young and grown telling me how grateful they are for the Averno community, that it’s saved them and made them feel loved–I always have to reciprocate and tell them how precious each of them are to us! As much as I want a “successful” career in the entertainment industry, I remind myself that I don’t have to be talented or smart of attractive or successful or anything else in this life as long as I am kind and my kindness positively impacts others. Thanks to Averno, I’m off to a great start!
How do you think about happiness?
Babies. Puppies. They’re all so cute. Baking because it’s calming and rewarding (if not burnt or under-baked) and brings people delicious joy. Singing and making music with people! There is nothing in the world like being in the same space as others and hearing & feeling the sound you create together. Music is the love I have had since I was a baby, and I will carry it through the whole of my life. Talking to people about life (when it doesn’t send me into an existential crisis) makes me happy to be alive and curious and grateful. I am a secular being and therefore don’t believe anything will be waiting for me after this life, so any conversation that anchors me in reality is welcome. Plus, I think I spend far too much time in my own head and with myself (especially now); an earnest chat with someone about their thoughts and passions is a beautiful thing.
Contact Info:
- Email: rachael.chau98@gmail.com
- Website: rachaelchau.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rachaelmayc/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/c/RachaelChau/videos
Image Credits
Prashasti Aurora Cyn Chau
RJ Lewis and Madeleine Townsend
