Meet Elise Montgomerie

Today we’d like to introduce you to Elise Montgomerie.

Elise, let’s start with your story. We’d love to hear how you got started and how the journey has been so far.
By the time my son turned 3-months old, my maternal instincts kicked into high alert and had me questioning his behaviors.

Why didn’t he make eye contact with me? When he cried, why did he cry harder, louder and longer than any other child? Why was he not playing with toys that were in front of him? Why didn’t he care about toys and people? Why did he only like vents, fans, and wheels?

There were no answers.

Pediatricians told me to stop comparing him to other children and that he would be fine.

I knew differently.

One day, when I was reading, I came across a checklist of traits for autism. If you answer yes to 9 out of the 14, your child is autistic. How could it be so simple to test? But I read the questions and answered yes to nearly all of them.

My heart sank and I was paralyzed.

The overwhelming sense of responsibility washed over me again. What do I do? How do I help my innocent and seemingly perfect child? I researched and found out that my state conducted free tests to determine the reasons for which children do not hit milestones. I signed up and was put on a 4-month wait. Then, the day finally came for our now 23-month old son to be evaluated.

It was like cheering for a losing team.

You watch and want them to be able to make the basket, score the touchdown, or make the goal but not one can be done. After a grueling three hours of watching my child not achieve any of the tasks asked of him, the therapist sat me down and explained that my little baby had PDD: Pervasive Developmental Disorder; it’s on the autism spectrum. The good news is that I was right. Mommies always know their child.

The bad news was I was right. My son was autistic.

I immediately went into SUPER MOM mode, calling anyone and everyone that could possibly help us. Not everyone has that reaction. Some ignore and hope it will go away but it doesn’t.

I had to help my son. He was my responsibility.

I hired a team of therapists with me as the quarterback. I sat in on every therapy session my son has ever had, even to this day. I can’t risk missing important information about my child. So I read every book, knew all the terminology and I sounded educated. The doctors and therapists listened to me because I made it my business to know their business. But this was exhausting. I started boxing as a means of coping. After 30 hours of therapy each week and a screaming child all the time because he was on sensory overload, hitting someone felt really good.

But that wasn’t enough, I was falling apart.

I did everything in my power to try and understand how my son felt. I wanted to get into his world, so I could better help him get into ours. I suffered because no one was taking care of me and without me, the ship would sink.

I wish I had someone who would have told me I was going to be ok, regardless of how my son was doing. He was the sun, moon, and stars to me so I probably wouldn’t have believed it. I took him around the country for every therapy imaginable, but piece by piece, I was losing myself and losing my way.

How is it possible to find happiness and peace when your child suffers?

I medicated myself so that I became numb. I drank excessive amounts of alcohol and got divorced. On top of everything else, I was now a single mother of two children. I adopted my darling daughter from China to give me a chance at mothering a typical child. I became alone, sad, and scared that my children would not be ok. FEAR paralyzed me and “what ifs” consumed me. I was having a nervous breakdown. I never took care of myself.

Everyone else had typical children so it was much easier for them to be happy. I believed that as a parent of a special needs child I would never really know true happiness and peace. This mentality all changed the day I went to a yoga class, my instructor said something that resonated with me and has since become my mantra.

“We are happy, our natural state is happiness. Anything that takes us away from our natural state is merely a disturbance or a distraction.”

At first, I thought, that was easy for him to say since he didn’t have an autistic child. Nothing applied to me, I couldn’t control my happiness. How am I supposed to be happy when I am fighting with the school board and also advocating for my son? It was then, while I was sobbing, that my instructor said to me,

“Elise, you can give yourself permission to cry and react for a couple of minutes. Stomp your feet and say it sucks, it’s not fair, no one understands but then realize that you can get just as much, if not more, accomplished when you are calm and happy.”

So, I screamed and cried and complained for about 15 more minutes and then I got on the phone and happily kicked ass. I never again let anyone or anything, not even my children, take my happiness from me. I no longer let my son’s Autism define me.

Fast forward years later, I found myself constantly answering my friends’ parenting questions. Whenever they presented me with problems they were having with their children I would have a quick, concise, and easy to follow solution. One day, I was having coffee with one of my friends and fellow moms, I had just finished devising a parenting plan for her particular issue du jour and she said, “ya know Elise, everyone should have access to you, not just your friends. Everyone needs an Elise!” With that motivation and support, I came home and started to develop my business. After years of providing individual life and parent coaching for clients, I grew to create my parenting program “Happy Family in 90 Days®️“. This program gives parents what I wish I had, a friend, an advocate and a roadmap on everyday parenting.

Has it been a smooth road?
It was definitely a bumpy road to success but without the struggles I would never have ended where I am today as that is what has brought me to develop my business. Like most working moms, I often struggled with balancing home and work life. I didn’t want to sacrifice too much time away from my family but also needed time in order to help other families. As with most businesses, I also had growing pains as I expanded my team and started to provide online access to my parenting program.

Please tell us more about your work, what you are currently focused on and most proud of.
I am a certified life and parenting coach in South Florida. My life coaching services are open to people of all ages. For parent coaching, I specialize in helping parents with children aged 2-12 who are struggling with rectifying their children’s behaviors. I am most proud of my original accomplishment which is the core of my brand, my son, Spencer. When he was diagnosed with Autism at age two, the prognosis wasn’t great but with early intervention, and A LOT of various therapies, I was able to have him attend school with typical children and he is now off to college in the fall! If I hadn’t seen my own success using the strategies, I now teach, then I couldn’t have told others to follow the same steps. The proof is in the pudding and every time I have a parent come to me with their struggles it brings me joy to turn the dynamic around have them arrive at a place of peace and connection with their child.

What do you know now that you wish you knew when you were just starting out?
I would talk about my business more openly and shout about it from the rooftops. I used to be shy of talking about myself or my business. I was always great at selling other people’s products or services but when it came to talking about myself and selling my services, I struggled. I had a difficult time accepting that I was an inspiration to people. If I were to start over, I would also allow others to show their genuine appreciation and admiration without feeling like I didn’t deserve it. I am proud of who I am and if by doing what I love I can help and inspire others that’s a fulfilling thing for me.

Contact Info:

• Website: www.elisemontgomerie.com
• Phone: 561-289-2480
• Email: info@elisemontgomerie.com
• Instagram: elisemontgomerie
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/elisemontgomerie

 

Image Credit:
Sharon Morgenstern Photography

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